Thursday, January 20, 2011

Swimmer's ear

The St George pool, oh cruel mistress, has turned on me. I have an outer ear infection, better known as "swimmer's ear". So until these drops from the doctor clear it up, no more swimming. I'm bussing out of the George tomorrow anyway, so that means no more arvos at the town pool - no more feral kids getting in my way, no more swallowing of sandflies, no more accidentally groping the bottoms of my childhood doctors.

Luckily that last one only happened once; as I neared the end of a backstroke lap I had my hand extended feeling for the wall. Instead it found a fleshy obstruction, the aforementioned buttocks of the medical practioner who delivered my sister, as she clambered out of the pool at exactly the worst possible moment. We used to call her "Doctor Deadly" due to her apparent pleasure in administering needles.

As ailments go, swimmer's ear is one of the few I've ever felt good telling people about. After all, it makes one sound so athletic; as opposed to, say, athlete's foot, which just makes one sound like a grot (is there a fungus among us?). Really, are there any medical conditions people happily brag about? I am reminded of Hyacinth Bucket of Keeping Up Appearances, who wanted her henpecked husband to tell people he had a nice upper class disease, like gout, which smacked of over-indulgence and therefore wealth. "Gout is an infliction acceptable in the very highest circles. It comes from an excess of good living. Gout is practically a pedigree."

Much as I can't hear anything properly right now, I'll miss the sounds of the pool while I'm marooned on dry land for a few days. Roaring lawnmowers, bicycle bells, the squeals of kids and their bombastic illicit cannonballs. An invisible mute button clapped on/off each time you break the surface. The dreamy near-silence of being submerged. There's something so cinematic about being underwater: the goggle-clad POV and slow-motion movement like those scenes in The Graduate, or imagining yourself on a Life Aquatic-type expedition spurred on by electronic muzak.

I'll miss that, and the little girls who'd race me to the end of each lap, and the specifically St George sight of men swimming in footy shorts, the ghosts of work polo shirts haunting their pasty bare trunks. And overhearing rascally kids' conversations like this one:

Boy 1: Is S your cousin?
Boy 2: I think so, why?
Boy 1: She's got the hots for you bad.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

My beautiful dark twisted grape madness


Grape varieties that sound like stripper names:
  • Midnight Beauty
  • Black Fantasy
  • Red Flame
  • Crimson Seedless?
  • Globes??
For the gutterally-minded, there are plenty of opportunities for lowbrow humour in the vines. With sun-softened fruit the current scourge, it's not unusual to hear someone say something like "I don't care how big it is, if it's not hard I'm not putting it in my box." That's what she said.

Meanwhile, I puzzled for days over what the little seal on the Menindees box could mean. This (usually) dry, inland area is not generally known for its performing aquatic mammals, after all. Could it be a printer malfunction? An animal lover's prank? A secret code? Turns out it's the farm's "seal of quality". Daaaaaaaaaad!

Monday, January 17, 2011

Summer salt

And this time next week
When planes find their feet
We'll dive and somersault
In the brine, the summer salt
Tasting sun on our skins
Sweet split watermelon grins
Sand, sea, sky - each a line
Fish in paper, lemon, wine
New tanlines will cross backs
Roadtrip mixtapes in stacks
And the flip flop beat songs
Of what you call flip flops
...and I call thongs.

Grape expectations

Ever wondered how grapes get to you at the supermarket? They grow on vines, planted in rows, in blocks on farms of varying sizes. And people like me pick them. The first farm I worked on early this year was a lovely small family farm with just 54 rows of seedless white menindee grapes. The big farm I'm working on now has about a dozen blocks, and each of those blocks has over 100 rows. That's a lot of grapes. And they take a lot more pickers - I believe there were around 300 at the peak of the picking.

Pickers generally work in pairs, one person on each side of a row. You pack the bunches into boxes as you go, pushing a trolley that carries empty boxes and a set of scales so you can get the weight right. Each box should have at least 10 kilograms of grapes. Full boxes are set down under the vines, picked up by tractors staffed by "cart boys" who pack the boxes onto pallets. Then the boxes go back to the shed for quality checks and cold storage before trucks take them to the markets in Melbourne, Brisbane and Sydney.

Pickers are paid by the box, at a rate which fluctuates according to market price and the speed with which pickers are putting down boxes. Years ago, when people were picking hundreds of boxes a day, we'd get $1 per box... At the moment, nearing the end of the season with fruit scarce but still in demand from supermarkets, we're being paid up to $7 per box. As seasonal work goes, grape-picking is pretty sweet - you get a lot of shade from the vines, the fruit is at a good height so you're not doing anything back-breaking. But it can be frustratingly slow when the fruit isn't good, and you have to snip out rotten and soft berries.

I still remember vividly my first taste of grape picking, the summer I'd just finished high school. I remember a massive induction meeting in the vast, echoing shed. I remember getting lost trying to find the bay we were supposed to pick from, led astray by some nerdy boys who swore they knew where they were going. Just being back at the same farm now makes me feel 17 again; young, and uncertain. And poor.

Working at Table Grapes became a yearly summer routine throughout uni, and a reunion of sorts. In those days many of the pickers and all of the cart boys were students, so there was often almost a school dance atmosphere - a lot of weird flirtation in the vines, throwing of grapes, mucking around. The farm provided accomodation for pickers from out of town, dongas that soon came to feel like an extension of boarding school or college. The rest of the pickers were a motley crew. Retirees who'd pick for a couple of months to finance their caravanning between grandchildren for the rest of the year. Professional itinerants who followed the seasons and various fruits around the country. Slightly sketchy people looking for quick cash to get back on their feet. Lots of mullets and terrible tatts and quite a few immigrants. I can remember the Australian Federal Police turning up at the farm once or twice to check visas.

Nearly ten years later, and four or five since I last picked, the big farm is a different place. Under new management, it's now staffed with mostly foreign contractors. My first day there a couple weeks ago, I think my picking partner and I were the only white faces in our group. As well as the dongas, there is now a temporary "tent city" to house more pickers. Many are from India, and there are lots of Koreans who can extend their visa to Australia by doing work like this. Later we found some Dutch and French guys, a mob of Poms and even a couple of Irish who'd blagged their way into jobs in the shed. But it's a very different mood from the old days. On the farm, time is literally money - and these pickers need money much more urgently than the laissez faire uni students of old, who just needed to fund their textbook purchases and Sunday sessions at the RE.

Many other small things have changed in the last decade. Branding has obviously become more important. Once we'd pack only into plain black boxes, which would have lids put on them in the shed. Now boxes must have a plastic liner and often a sulphur dioxide pad on top of the fruit, to preserve it in storage. Then there are different lids to denote different types of fruit - from premium quality (the biggest berries, the cream of the crop) to lesser picks. I really liked the design of the small farm's premium branding, their "Black Knight" grapes... in comparison the magenta lids at the big farm just say "Australian grapes" in comic sans. COMIC SANS!! Dear god.

Now we're in the dregs of the season - the rows we're picking from have been picked once, twice, even three times before - we're packing into bunch bags. Bags have been around since I first started picking, but they've become very elaborate. I guess it's a sign of how the big supermarkets can dictate to farmers now. Once we would have just picked ten bags into a box and checked the overall weight. This week, filling an order for Aldi, we've had to weigh each bag individually to ensure it's exactly one kilo; close a zip on the bag; rip off the zipper tab so the customer can't open it when they make their purchase; and stick a label over each zip. Plus adding a sulphur pad and lid. Making money in this kind of work is all about systems and efficiency of movement. All these extra steps - folding boxes, extra packaging - complicate the picker's task.

Also, this is why you should always wash fruit from the supermarket before you eat it. Most fruit isn't handled between when it's picked and when you get it home - all the chemicals sprayed on it are still there, along with traces of anything grotty your picker has been touching.

A good picking partner can make all the difference to your days in the vines. In my first season I got off to a rough start with those nerds. They only wanted to talk about Lord Of The Rings and their terrible metal band, and kept giving me burned CDs to try to get me into Steve Vai and Led Zeppelin. Mercifully they were fired for picking too many rotten grapes and I spent the rest of the season with a procession of randoms from around the world. Like Tony, who wasn't quite an Italian stallion but rather the Persian version, and who finished every day singing "another day, another dollar" and stole bunches from my side of the vine (a cardinal grape sin)... And Jacob, the Slovenian philosopher and motorcycle enthusiast...

In later years I formed a solid partnership with Matty, a St George local who's now a teacher up north. Matty loved to listen to cricket on the radio as we worked, and would mimic high-achieving batsmen with a "raising of the snips" when he hit his ton of 100 boxes. Later still my friend Reboot picked with me - we were by then slightly too old to check out the cart boys, but did anyway, as she sang her reworked version of a terrible song about cowboys - "save a horse, ride a cart boy". And even later I worked with my sister when she finished school, and I wish we had recordings of our ridiculous conversations. More than once I swear we'd composed whole musicals before smoko.

Currently I work alongside an old hand with the snips. He's a high school teacher who'd be nearing 70 and has had an amazing life travelling the world. Bill's what we call a "gun picker", one of the fastest of the fast, and he prides himself on finding the quickest way to pick. He times himself on each box, charts his progress through the day, and is furious if he makes any less than $200 per day. Meanwhile I'm lagging behind, lost in music on my ipod, occasionally startled by a tractor bearing down on me or the guttural grunts of kangaroos fighting. Repetitive menial work soon takes on a routine; the hands work away while the mind wanders. I've been writing this post in my head for a week, but too exhausted each night to get it written down.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Whether you're high or low...

I'm way late on the Janelle Monae bandwagon but this song has been making grape picking bearable for the last few weeks. The video is even better. How good is it to see a hip hop video that's not all flesh and ostentatious bling? (I'm looking at you, Yeezy) And more importantly, where can I get some of these shoes?



I tip on alligators
And little rattlesnake-uhs


The "classy brass" and the ukelele fade-out are just gorgeous. And how great is Big Boi in this? He was always overshadowed by Andre 3000 in Outkast, but by all accounts his 2010 solo record Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty is the business. I love the chorus to his song "Shutterbug" (now party people in the club it's time to cut some rug / and throw the deuces in the sky just for the shutterbug / I'm double fistin and you're empty you can grab a cup) and it has a great video - including some muppets! But I think I prefer the song mashed up with the Black Keys:



Perhaps most of my pleasure in this comes from the phrase "cut a rug"... So reminiscent of the rum-sozzled discos they used to hold at the agricultural college my friends attended just out of school. I didn't turn eighteen until almost a year after we left school, so I spent a lot of my first year in Brisbane bussing out to Gatton and Forest Hill for weekends - where my mates were studying things like "agribusiness" and "animal studies", and where the publicans never bothered to check IDs.

They had the best parties out there - pigs on spits, bands on the backs of trucks, and the aforementioned Wednesday night discos where there were always random themes. And there, dressed as rednecks or Hawaiians or whatever, we'd bust out all our best moves. "The shopping trolley", "the sprinkler", even "the worm" for those with gymnastic leanings and no fear of writhing in the rum spilled on the dancefloor.

Oh my god, that reminds me. Around this same time I was, as I remain, laughably naive about drugs. And I remember someone telling me about how everyone on ecstasy does the same dance - this kind of jerky robot, all elbows and angles, a stylised mime of filling boxes and stacking them.

Years later, shortly after moving to Sydney, I was having drinks with some new friends and desperate to appear urbane. A number of beers in, I was tuning in and out of the conversation when they started talking about pills. Thinking of the box stacking dance, when they mentioned "shelving" I enthusiastically brought up my own experience in this area, to the surprise of the group. It was months before I realised what the process of shelving actually involves (kids - and Mum - please don't click that link). Suffice to say I have never done it, and I hoped fervently that conversation was forgotten...

Friday, January 7, 2011

Bonne nuit!



Work/routine fatigue is setting in a little today... I'm working on some fun upcoming posts, but for tonight it's nighty-night, I'm afraid. Spoon's Transferance is an album I'd dismissed. If any other band had made it, it would be a revelation, but Spoon are so consistently awesome and their latest didn't seem as immediately magical as 2007's Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga... But spending some time with it is paying dividends. Amid their standard crafty guitar pop there are some glorious chilled moments - "Who Makes Your Money" is woozy and melancholy, "Goodnight Laura" is the best lullabye I can think of right now.
You can fall asleep by being very still
And let your breath slow down
And when you think your thoughts be sure that they are sweet ones
Don't you know, love, you're alright

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Things I Love Thursday: January 6

The Bureau of Meteorology have downgraded their predictions for flood levels in the George, so things are feeling less frantic around town. Channel Nine have sent out the big guns though - Bruce Page is here - so I hope they don't know something we don't! At any rate, the biggest thing I'm grateful for this week is that our place hasn't been threatened by the flood at all. That said, many people face terrible losses, not just here in St George but throughout the state. So our thoughts are with those returning home to face massive clean-up efforts, and those who are still stuck in evaucation centres waiting for the waters to reside.


Other highlights of this week include:

Baking biscotti... The insane patterns in the pool surface when it's raining... Wonderous words from across the seas, and discovering ee cummings... Vicarious glimpses of Milan from a talented photographer... Long phone chats with old chums... Afternoon naps on rare days off, and the crazy dreams they bring... Pesto made fresh with basil from the garden... And forget the boring official video for Kanye's "Monster" (to which I am ADDICTED) - clearly what's really needed to visually complement that song is muppets.