Dinner Party Drunk
A new zenith (or, perhaps, nadir) of intoxication showcased at a Friday night dinner party after many hours of prior alcohol consumption. Need not actually take place at a dinner party. Symptoms include the knocking over of drinks and glassware, increasingly disheveled appearance, loss of pants and ill-advised hook-ups.
Promiscuity counterbalanced by snooty demeanour makes it hard to call some lasses (and lads) an out and out slut. Enter, the slüt.
(acronym: West End Lesbian Chop Haircut)
Would that I could claim this genius for my own, but I must own that I overheard it in West End heartland at the Boundary hotel. You know the chop - generally bold, often asymmetrical, can be artfully precise or look as though perpetrated by a kindergartener with Crayola safety scissors. Beloved of both experienced dykes and fledgeling lipstick lesbians demonstrating commitment to their new role, it's a look at once calculated to confound hetero male contstructs of beauty and signal one's status as a card-carrying lesbot. Plus, it's pretty hot. This is a flexible term that could work as a verb, common or collective noun. Previously I had adopted the collective noun, a "Penny Wong" for a gathering of angularly-groomed lesbians, but now I much prefer the more intriguing WELCH.
*Geographic note: while Sydney-siders may prefer to substitute "Newtown" for "West End", you're going to have to pull a vowel from somewhere or this will never be a viable vernacular option.
The HOGs / The HOPs
Another stolen acronym: I wrote some time ago about my sister's fantastic creation, the HOGs - Hangover Guilts. But I got to thinking - there do exist hangovers that don't leave you feeling bad. Sometimes, the opposite is true. Whether these feelings are justified or based on beer-goggle optimism, sometimes you stumble in search of a bacon sandwich while feeling smug, even proud of your excesses the night before. Maybe you made a new friend, dazzled a group of people with your wit and charm, held it together in front of an ex, made progress with the cutie you're crushing on, or had the best idea for the novelty band you're going to form. Congratulations: you've got the HOPs. Hangover Prides...
General Gratuitous Abbreviation
It started out as the domain of attention deficit teens co-opting text-speak into everyday conversation. We adopted it as an ironic joke, but like an uncapped eyeliner in your handbag the habit soon stained everything and we keep accidentally smudging it on our faces. Er. You know you're in trouble with GGA when you regularly coin new acronyms, shorten already-decent-sized words into bastard words that are impossible to spell, and occasionally you drop an abbrev or acronym that takes longer to pronounce than the original term. And PS: any lingering conversation can be tidied up with a well-timed "PS.."
Some recent faves:
- Phenom = phenomenal
- Potench = potential
- Pretench = pretentious
- Bee Tee Dubs = by the way
- Totes jelly = totally jealous